Well, friends! After almost two weeks of being THE most indecisive person on the face of the planet, I have finally made a decision! I was incredibly blessed to have been extended two job offers with different Big 4 accounting firms in two locations: Atlanta and Denver. I interviewed in Atlanta first and was stunned by how connected I felt after only spending 26 hours in the city. It has been a dream of mine to live in Colorado for the past two years, following an internship in Colorado Springs, so Atlanta definitely through a loop into the decision making process! For the first time in my life, I felt like my heart and my head were disagreeing… I would love to reflect on some of the lessons I have begun to learn during this process…but just in case you don’t want to read any farther…I am officially moving to:
Life lessons sparked by indecision:
1. No matter how difficult the decision may feel, be thankful you have any options at all. I said it several times as I was fighting back and forth with myself that if I had only received one offer, this would be such an easy decision! That mindset truly robbed me of the awareness of how much of a gift it was to be offered a job at all, let alone two. Especially in this time of economic recovery, my ramblings about how hard it was to make a decision between jobs were unnecessary. I blinded myself from the pain and disappointment of the thousands of beautiful, qualified people and recent grads who are still trying to find jobs, and I apologize for that.
2. On a similar note, this was not a life-or-death decision, it was a good-or-good decision. Both firms and offices had a great list of positives, pro’s, and advantages. With either choice, I would be entering a challenging, well-supported, and established place of learning and growth. As much as I told myself “THIS IS THE HARDEST DECISION OF MY LIFE,” it really was a great dilemma to have.
3. Sometimes my head and my heart disagree. This has been a huge learning curve. I’m one person– shouldn’t I be aligned and centered and have fluid communication within myself? Not necessary. My head screamed Atlanta– it’s close, it’s an easier move, it’s a huge office so I can slide right in. My heart screamed Denver– it’s what I’ve dreamed about, it’s absolutely new and challenging, it’s a place where I feel so close to the Lord and connected to the earth. But that also leads me to…
4. Ultimately, city doesn’t matter. I mean, it does. But it also doesn’t. When I realized that I will be working for 80+ hours/week during busy season (January-April), I realized that this decision hung not so much on which city I loved more, but on which firm I loved more, which office I connected with better, which people I could work with on a team and thrive together. Where would I wake up every morning ecstatic to go to work? Go there.
5. People make a huge difference. Atlanta was the front runner for a long time. And the people there were fabulous! But the Denver office truly went above and beyond, contacting me regularly to answer questions, check on me, put me in contact with more staff members and managers. One of the sealing points was when one of the most respected leaders in the market I will be working in called me, just to chat, answer my questions, and share her experience with the firm. I am no one special– a bottom-of-the-barrel associate. And yet, they already made me feel like a part of the family.
6. No one could make this decision for me. But there were plenty of times I thought I wanted someone to choose for me! The truth is, this is one of the first BIG decisions I have ever made. You know, the life-altering-world-changing kind. I knew I wanted to go to Florida State since I could do the Tomahawk chop and say “Go Noles!” so the college decision was a no-brainer. But this…this required true self-examination, quiet introspection, and a decision to stop asking people for their opinions. After all, no one else will be living with the result of this decision as directly as I will. This had to be mine, and I’m glad it was.
7. I couldn’t make this decision to avoid disappointing someone. Because, honestly, either way I chose I felt I would be disappointing someone! Either the recruiters and interviewers at the firm, the staff I met and connected with, the friends that live in the city…choosing Atlanta or Denver meant NOT choosing Denver or Atlanta. Why couldn’t I accept both so that no one had to be disappointed in my decision?! I had to remind myself time and time again that these recruiters and interviewers meet thousands of students each year, many who accept and many who join other firms. I am not someone special who would especially break their hearts– that would be giving myself way too much credit. This decision is affecting the next trajectory of my life! Choosing based on the people I want to disappoint the least does not seem like a sound decision-making strategy.
8. Pray. A lot. A few days ago, I finally came to the realization that I was trying to talk to anybody and everybody about this decision. I wanted their opinions, their thoughts, their words to sway me and show me the way. I wanted someone to say something so enlightening that I just magically knew where I needed to go. But it didn’t come. And I am so thankful. There was only one person I needed to talk to about this, and that is the Lord. Praying for clarity, or at least for the wrong choice to just fall off my mind, was the turning point I needed. From that point on, my heart and my head began to agree!
And they both screamed Denver. And I have a peace that no person could have offered me. And I am ecstatic!